Living “The Success Principles”
Getting Back on Your Feet After Divorce
Are you working on re-centering yourself during a divorce? It can be so difficult to know where to begin. That’s why I’m quick to mention Jack Canfield’s book, “The Success Principals,” to my clients. The book offers dozens of easy to follow principles that you can apply to any phase of your life to become more successful and encourage personal growth. I’ve applied the principles to my own life with great results; this has inspired me to pass on the information to others.
I’d recommend “The Success Principles” to anyone, but it’s proven particularly helpful for clients of mine who have dealt with divorce, custody disputes, and other family law issues. The next time you’re at a bookstore or shopping on Amazon, consider picking up a copy! In the meantime, here are three principles you can follow to get back on your feet after your divorce.
Take Ownership of Your Life
Ultimately, you are responsible for your future; you can mold your life after divorce into whatever you’d like it to be. It may not seem like it now, but your best days are ahead. Many people do experience a happier life after divorce, with less stress and conflict and more time for self-reflection. However, in order to achieve this ideal lifestyle, you need to take ownership of your own life: your words, actions, and reactions.
Living the success principles in the book means taking 100% responsibility of your own life. When you’re dealing with a divorce, especially one full of conflict, it can be tempting to blame the other person for your current situation. I try to remind my clients that both spouses always have a role, but you can only control your own actions. When you own those actions and act with integrity, you’ve done all you can to keep your divorce civil.
Keep a Positive Outlook and Believe It’s Possible
You can see your divorce in one of two ways: as a stressful, negative event or as the beginning of a promising new phase in your life. When you stay positive you can more easily adjust your thinking and refocus your efforts. For example, are negotiations not working out? Maybe this is a good time to think outside of the box and come up with a creative solution. Does your ex want to take the kids on a last-minute vacation? Spend the weekend checking some items off your to-do list. If you look for the silver lining, you can manifest success and happiness in even the most contentious of divorces. This phase of your life can and will fit into the future you envision for yourself, so keep it positive and keep your vision in mind no matter what obstacles you encounter.
Create Successful Relationships: Seek Guidance from the Professionals
Are you the type of person who thinks, “I don’t need someone’s help; I can handle things all by myself”? Consider pushing your boundaries and talking to a professional who has the know-how to help you reach your goals. Although it’s admirable to be independent and self-sufficient, coping with divorce can be difficult for anyone. Often, a new perspective is all it takes to move past some of the obstacles you’re facing during this process.
If you’re not comfortable contacting the applicable professional (whether that be a family law attorney, therapist, financial planner, home organizer, etc.), a close friend or family member may be able to act as a sounding board for you, too. But ultimately, you’ll need to consult a pro to learn the tools and tactics needed to help you get back on track.
